Steve G.

What counts as a legitimate ‘news’ story in the MSM

In Media on May 7, 2008 at 8:50 am

I guess I probably shouldn’t be surprised at the anti-intellectualism, unseriousness, and crassness of the mainstream media. But I really thought this article, highlighted on the front page of, took the cake:

Beware of ‘The Tinkler’

I mosey into the ladies’ room, glance at the mirror, remind myself that fluorescent lights make everyone look as if they’re in the final stages of tuberculosis, and head for a stall. And then I see it: The seat, even the floor, is covered in little yellow droplets. The Tinkler strikes again.

Even worse are the Story “highlights”:

  • Women’s bathroom is defiled by The Tinkler
  • Columnist tries to figure out who’s guilty of peeing on seat
  • Decides she is “aggressively mean-spirited, mole-like cavewoman”
  • Writer yearns for modicum of civility, a touch of class, or supply of Lysol

As if this is an actual, legitimate news story! For example, the Story Highlights for a Myanmar cyclone piece were as follows:

  • U.N. has started getting food aid but so far it is only the first step of huge job
  • NEW: Survivor tells how wall of water left bodies in trees, bushes and streams
  • More than 22,000 killed and 41,000 missing, Myanmar radio reports
  • U.S. President Bush says Navy is ready to help if asked

There you go: The state of an individual women’s bathroom and a barely literate “journalist’s” opinion thereof is the given the same treatment as a humanitarian disaster in which more than 22,000 people have died. I should interject here that this wonderful story was brought to us by that benevolent Obama sponsor / former crack smoker, Oprah Winfrey, and her hubristically eponymous magazine.

We have an illegal, unjustified, and undeclared war that’s been raging for longer than WWII, in which innocents are being murdered on a daily basis, hundreds of billions of dollars are being destroyed, and wealth is being redistributed from American taxpayers to military-industrial complex barons, international bankers, and foreign governments — but we give a higher priority to office “tinklers” than any of that. I really do understand why Reverend Jeremiah Wright said “God Damn America!” Has there ever been an Empire quite so decadent?

I tried reading Susan Jacoby’s The Age of American Unreason and found it to be unpalatable liberal-statist garbage. But the general thesis that Americans are dumbed down by the government and its propagandists in the media and public school system (though Jacoby would balk at the latter of these being characterized as such) is right on the money. I find it harder to live among my peers with each day that goes by.

  1. Sweet! I should use this for my show tonight. We always try to find insane news stories. This story is good for my show but not CNN.

  2. “Tinkling” is indeed a problem, but certainly not a mystery worthy of CNN.

    Some women (understandably) don’t like to touch public toilets, and it is the manner in which they urinate which causes the tinkling on the seat. The droplets of water on the floor away from the toilets are from hand washing, not urine.

    When I was growing up, young ladies were taught to place toilet tissue on the seat of public toilets, so they don’t touch the toilet. Oh, how the hygiene habits of Americans have declined!

    Personally, I find it disgusting (but then again, I find public restrooms to be disgusting, period), but I would never in a million years think it worthy of mainstream media attention.

    Jason, I think you and Cilla should indeed discuss tinkling; in fact, you just showed why I find your show so entertaining. 🙂

    As for Oprah ….. eh, I’m not impressed. She promoted the hell out of the book “A Million Little Pieces”, causing it to become a huge bestseller, then eventually a real journalist decided to check into the author’s (supposedly biographical) claims. It turns out that none of it is true. Some people actually sued the author to get their money back, when they realized it was all a fraud.

    And of course, she inflicted Dr. Phil, whose books should all be called “I Don’t Know Shit (I Just Make It Up As I Go Along)”, upon an unsuspecting American public. Dr. Phil doesn’t even have a license to practice psychology, incidentally. He gave up his license years ago, when he was ordered to attend ethics classes following a formal complaint about his practice. That being the case, none of the following should surprise anyone, including Oprah.

    “Dr.” Phil visited (an obviously mentally ill) Britney Spears at Cedars-Sinai, against her will while pretending to be a doctor (thus violating an entire book of ethics), and conspired to bring her on his show when she was released at the end of her 72-hour hold (in possibly even worse condition than she was in when admitted). He was forced to cancel that episode due to public outrage over his using that poor suffering young woman’s troubles for ratings. He had actually planned to have Britney on his show, in front of millions of people, to do an “intervention” to force psychiatric treatment.

    It’s a good thing he already had his license yanked, because he’d have lost that license forever over that fiasco. A real psychologist in California has filed a complaint charging him with the unauthorized practice of psychology, which is a crime.

    He then bailed out one of the six teenage girls in Florida who was sitting in jail on 30K bail, charged as an adult for luring another teenager to a home, holding her against her will, and beating her for 30 minutes; at one point the girl lost consciousness, and they waited for her to regain consciousness so they could beat her some more. They videotaped it all so they could put it on YouTube; the victim suffered loss of sight and loss of hearing due to the attack. “Dr.” Phil was going to interview the attacker, you see.

    Of course, he ended up canceling that planned episode as well due to public outrage for having bailed the girl out, but the damage had been done since he had already unleashed a violent person upon the community, when she had previously threatened the victim with further violence if she told anyone about the attack. Good job thinking about the victim there, dumbass.

    Oprah and Dr. Phil are very good examples of what’s wrong with America, in my opinion.

  3. ENM, did you see the story about the mother in Wisconsin that shot her 8 year old daughter with a BB gun on a drunken bet with her boyfriend? We are covering that one tonight.


  4. Jason: No way! I didn’t hear about that one.

    That is insane. What kind of mother would shoot her own child with a BB gun? Heck, I’d jump in front of a real bullet to keep Elf from being harmed (and he’s a grown man, not a little girl). I sure wouldn’t harm him myself, not in a million years. Then again, I’m a real mother, not just an incubator. Grrrrrrr…..

    I wrote about a month ago (on my personal blog) about a mentally disabled pregnant woman who was shot with BBs by the other people in the house whenever she would try to get food for herself or her one-year-old baby. Of course, there were other vicious things done to her as well. The medical examiner said that this poor woman had been tortured over a period of weeks, to the point that her immune system shut down and she died. The coroner found over 30 BBs embedded under her skin.

    Sick, sick, sick. Police arrested a group of people, including a 12-year-old kid, for the torture and death of that poor woman. Luckily her one-year-old baby lived, but barely, though of course her six-month fetus died. I was furious when I read that, and even more furious that they cannot be charged with the murder of her unborn child, since a fetus at six months’ gestation can live outside the womb with today’s technology, and there could have been no doubt that she was visibly pregnant.

    If anybody’s interested in reading about that infuriating case, it’s at

  5. […] Federal Reserve. Well, as luck would have it, took a break from its riveting coverage of female bathroom habits and ran a story about a recent survey concerning the […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: