The Democrats passed it a while back, and Dubya rolled over like a little bitch. Everyone was like “OMG YAY NOW TEH POOR WILL FINALLY BE OKAY.” Hell, even Walmart, Soul-Sucking Corporate Enemy Of The People, was cheering for it. It was the feel-good political blockbuster of winter.
But it was a fucking stupid idea, and even though it hasn’t taken effect yet, it’s already started screwing over the poor.
Remember how I mentioned Walmart? Yeah, those bastardfucks were cheering this on because they realized that nobody with money would bother shopping at their store. However, raise the minimum wage and their core consumer base suddenly has a little more spending money… money they’d spend at Walmart. Not only that, but Walmart was already paying $7 and change an hour on average, so raising the minimum wage would only hurt their competition.
That’s not all though!
I went shopping with the $16.50 that the State of Nebraska thinks I earned over the last two weeks (yay severe underreporting of hours! I need a new job) the other day and went to buy soda. Knowing that I couldn’t afford the decent Cherry Coke that I usually buy for $.98, I was prepared to buy the fuck nasty Sam’s Cola because it was $.50. Lo and behold, when I got there, the Cherry Coke was $1.24 and the Sam’s Cola was $.62. Yes, that’s right. The minimum wage hasn’t even HIT yet and they’re already raising prices.
So let’s sum up. Minimum wage rises, throws about 7% of the poor out of a job. On top of that, before the wage even hits, prices for basic consumer goods go up to the point that it’ll negate any wage hike in the first place.
At least I can rest assured that the price of habañero lube that Big Government/Corporate America is using to fuck me up the ass hasn’t gone up. Either that, or they’re just sucking up the cost out of the goodness of their hearts. They rape because they care.